[Movie Review] Lockout

Having several sci-fi trailers such as Battleship, Prometheus and The Host before Lockout was probably not the bestest thing in the whole, wide, world to do.

Unlike the breath of fresh air that was Cabin in the Woods, Lockout is executed poorly with fancy sets, too much editing the destroys the narrative and expects us to believe by the last reel two people can safely enter the Earth’s atmosphere, ejected their space suits, pop their escape parachutes and land on an empty highway without so much as a broken leg.

Don’t worry, you’ll be happy I just ruined the movie for you, trust me.

It’s so bad I’m dusting off this icon:

Lockout, based on an “idea” by Luc Besson, someone I’ve mentioned more than once needs to get off his ass and actually direct a movie is Escape from New York in Space. I wish it was Die Hard in Space but no such luck.

Snow played lovingly by Guy Pierce is an ex-CIA operative on the run from the government in his possession is a suitcase that men are willing to kill for. The action sequence in the beginning tells us this much or should I say the action scene that looks like it’s out of a video game. The scene ends at a train station which is vaguely reminiscent of the Escape from New York deleted prologue when Snake is captured.

All the while this is going on the president’s daughter, Emilie played by Lost alumni Maggie Grace is finally shedding her “I can still play a teenager, really” acting status and gets to stretch a bit while she is introduced to Maximum Security Station MS-1, a giant penal facility in space with prisoners in stasis. Unfortunately, the president’s daughter doesn’t like this idea since there are medical reports stating putting someone into stasis has medical side effects and the rumors about genetic testing on the prisoners, the back and forth between Emilie and the Warden is all rapid fire West Wing-style dialogue is not as rapid fire and West Wing-style since it’s going too, damn, fast.

I mentioned narrative before and while this movie has english speaking actors, the editors and backers aren’t and that’s when things break down. I’m reminded of The Returner when several scenes with english speaking actors show up and they’re using big words so everyone even those non-speaking can understand the scene and that’s what parts of this movie feels like, disconnected from everything else. There are brief scenes that are fun to watch but over the suspension of disbelief is too much suspension from not enough belief.

The prisoners on MS-1 are lead by two brothers, the brains and the psycho or as I like to call’em: Megatron and Starscream. Megatron being the smart one that likes to keep the hostage chips alive while Starscream kills them all and feigns ignorance. Neither of them are the menacing. Hell, the German rejects from Die Hard could have shown these idiots a thing or two.

In the end, the movie isn’t worth your time, the banter between Snow and Emilie is fun but then you remember there’s the rest of the movie to worry about.

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